I'm learning appreciation. That's what I'll say.

Have you ever stayed up for a full day or two? Maybe pulling an all-nighter studying or working on a project and then having to fill a full day of work after that? Have you ever participated in a truly exhausting workout? Or maybe a long distance run?

Theres a feeling of exhaustion that comes over one's body after events like these. Where we push our mind to it's limits. We test our own will. But we know. We know that we can do it. And the feeling afterward is a satisfied exhaustion. The accomplished depletion. That's where I am at right now.

It's almost Eight O Clock on the third day and my legs are tired. My eyes stare longer than they should and my stomach insists on my attention. Day one was much easier than I expected.

I hear Johnny's words- "It's not for the weak of heart, It'll test you".

I had a feeling it would get to be like this. I did a small amount of research. It goes that the human body can survive up to 30 days without food.

I'm on a three day fast. I've never done a fast before. No food, just water. I try to keep the water to a minimum too. First day one glass. Second day about two and a half glasses. Third day, water is much easier to drink, and much more inviting. I'm asked "Why?"

"Why do this?"

The thought first looked my direction about a month ago. There's a bartender at The Blind Lemon-where I work- who has been there ten years...Johnny. He is a tall guy about six foot or more with a young face , pale complexion, curly hair, about thirty years old. Not at all flashy and a good guy at heart: this is apparent  when you first meet him. So in one of a few conversations Johnny brings it up..."So once a year I do this thing."
                        "What thing?"
"I do this 3 day fast. No food, just water. 3 days"

I'm intrigued at this. I knew fasting as a spiritual thing and I know Johnny is not a believer in God.
"Really now?" I have to ask, and we can imagine my eyes beginning to open a little wider than before.
" I have to know Johnny, why? It's obviously not out of faith."

He smiles a sheepish grin, a dash of pride at the corner. " I do it every year- it's just a thing I do."
Of course I understand him.
The man who doesn't believe in god is inherently a good man, and good men have spirit. I understand the fast as a way to get in touch with one's spirit. A way to stay humble. A way to pray for nobility. What I have learned though is that after day one, I began to understand.
After day one  I didn't crave food, in fact it seemed all desire had faded. I had a calm inside of me. Desire for food, for drink, for women even. Faded. It was as if the food was pushing these clouds into my mind. We know this is not a scientific fact, but that's almost how it felt.

Towards the end of day two I begin to think of food. I begin to think of food in a new light. I begin to think of food as if it were worth a little more. I search some online articles and journals to see what the benefits of a fast are and of course to read the opposing opinions. It cleanses the body apparently- it would seem that without food the body digests all the bad leftovers clinging to its parts.
The Offender says " It's bad on your body, it destroys your body, your body will begin to act in terrible cycles and eat its muscle and even liver!!"
I read The Defender's article and in the first few days of a fast the body's metabolism accelerates. In early man periods of fasting were normal and so chemicals are released in a temporary fast to make us more aware, quicker-for the hunt. Well I'm not hunting much in the city so that's about useless for me.
Instead I respond in myself to the more spiritual aspect of things.

On Day Three... Food excites me like a good holiday. I can only imagine what I will spend my earnings on after day three. I watch a documentary on Sushi...Sushi is definitely what I want to eat...for dinner. For lunch; Skyline Cheese Conies ; for breakfast, all the leftovers in my kitchen. I understand now. What it means to be starving. I have inflicted this upon myself and some would say "You make a mockery of those without food! Those who would love to have a bite , just a bite! And you deny food for three days on a whim! "

Well before, I could listen, I could watch, I could pray for empathy. But now I understand-though I'll admit not the worst. Three days is hardly a week, and not nearly two weeks , 14 days in fact. And that's not even half of thirty: the supposed time the body can go without food. I can tell you this though. After three days I appreciate my position. I appreciate food so much more. I appreciate the discipline it takes to only withstand these three days , and I look forward to the 4th day when I can eat once again.

Seasons .

Eunt .

Winter. Fall. Winter. Fall. 45 degrees. Fall. Rain. Shine. Cold again. This is Cincinnati. A macrocosm of my life. All over the place. Take a walk, on this walk turn a corner and walk seven blocks. You see that if you go straight for another quarter mile there will be refreshment waiting. But something catches your eye to the left just at the end of your eyes' focus. You decide it is worth your curiosity- it is. Again however, that refreshment comes into your mind. You change direction , refreshment in your mind once more. You are closer than you have been when you see something else slightly away from your most recent position. Once again your desire for more takes you to an off shooting path. Refreshment is never from your mind as you slip into foreign ideas. This is my college career thus far. I seek refreshment but in my mind I am not quite there. I have learnt to wait and move strategically in life, skills can be acquired with a right mind and an intuitive sense of foresight. I give a light step when its called for and a near jump if its required. I have an ambitious root inside me and as I fill the soil with rich experiences, leading , nurturing, and some times shocking bits of Life. The drive begins to pace just a little faster. The reach embodies me finer. I feel confident but I am aware- that if I do not continue and even improve this formulae- it can collapse. Everything can be ended on a stroke of Grief's harp. Only the foolish play invincible, though we've all had a sip from youth's delusions. I patiently await my season. And patience is all I can be sure of .   

Here is a picture a friend of mine  shot earlier this year. I do enjoy his style.

Summer Music Festival +  2012

Spring has Sprung!

  Spring is here and I couldn't be happier. At the end of the fall season I had placed a terrarium outside in an attempt to ditch some soil flies that had been killing off my beloved plants. Well one day it rains , floods the whole system and - being four stories up on a fire escape- I wasn't in a rush to empty it. Winter hit. What happens to water in the winter? It freezes. What happens to glass when it freezes? It cracks. So the terrarium cracked and drained.
  Lucky for me this spring I realized the entire bottom of this terrarium is splintered: leaving one solution. I'll have to sift the soil out carefully and remove the glass pieces without them dropping four flights onto and into my neighbors space. Great news is however that a flooded sapling I had thought to be dead survived the winter and so I repotted him in a brilliant ceramic pot that was on sale and he is now the supreme dignitary of my fire escape along with a currently unknown herb that managed to survive the winter season also.

  My joy of the season however , is not limited by or only applied to plants. People! I somehow find myself each winter dropping into a somber state of reclusion. This means few friends and even fewer female companions. Spring is here though and already the cards are back on the table.  As if my personality had sprang new life itself I feel happier, more confident and surrounded by more friends and ladies once again. Oh how I love the Spring and Summer :)
 

My Bed :)

I was always told to make my own bed , so naturally taking things literally I did exactly that! Hemp string for strength, polyester stuffing material a courduroy like top and waterproof no slip bottom it's amazingly comfy and stores away nicely when needed! M for my last name novicely sewed on the front too.

Yumm.

Greek Vanilla Yogurt, Blueberries, Granola.

The Science Behind Water

Ever wondered if Holy Water is actually different than regular water? Would you believe that this substance that makes up most of our body is affected differently by words and statements directed towards it? Or what if you were to discover that water retains memory of its surroundings?
This film will change your perspective and bring understanding I hope.

Water- A Public Service Announcement

Salad IS delicious.

   2011 I mastered the art of introducing substances and poor nutrition into my body. 2012 I have grown from the college life fad and decided starting a healthy lifestyle would be more beneficial and so far I'm loving it! I applied for foodstamps and making less than $1800 a month became eligible for delicious and nutritious bounty err day all day!
   So usually once a month I make this salad which consists of
+ Fresh Spinach leaves
+ Fresh Berries
+Swiss or Italian shredded cheese
+ Salmon or Chicken
(Rubbed with a Lemon Pepper and Oregano seasoning and grilled)
+ Italian dressing or Vinegerette
+Optional Lime squeezing atop

This is a delicious meal and would also be great with a light topping of granola or whatever one may find tantilizing to the taste buds. Enjoy!